TURNTABLE REVOLUTION TOP 20 may 2

1 Starlets : Give My Regards To Betty Ford
2 Youth Group : Sorry
3 Potting Sheds : Happy Again
4 Jeremiahs : Wipe Away Your Tears
5 Inflatable Boy Clams : Skeletons
6 Youth Group : Catching And Killing
7 Sundress : Waiting
8 Black Kids : I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance....
9 Starlets : Happy Camper
10 James Dean Driving Experience : Dean's 11th Dream
11 Wave Pictures : I Love You Like A Madman
12 Helen And The Horns : Footsteps At My Door
13 MIA : Paper Planes
14 Alphabeat : Fascination
15 Wake The President : Remember Fun?
16 Amazing Space Frogs : (I'm Into) Necrophilia
17 The School : All I Wanna Do
18 Youth Group : Forever Young
19 Fischers : Down The Days
20 Hit Parade : Autobiography

Green numbers indicate new entries.

THE HORROR OF HAYES

It's crap. A horrendous London outcrop that is in a state of listless decay. It is as if one is entering a vortex of aesthetic indifference where stunted ideas are celebrated as cultural totems. Gormless groups drift along the pavement tensed with the pointless energy of dumb youth. I have a friend who lives here, subjected to the tantrums of the unwanted local children, circling his house like witless hyenas, screaming and violently booting balls at houses and cars. A charity shop fizzing with unsavoury odours is a sanctuary of sorts. Defeated and damaged the vinyl sprawls awkwardly beneath a ledge of commonplace CD's. A Crickets LP is as mottled as a month old lettuce leaf. Nothing to be rescued here. A miserly slice of salvation appears in the form of a Helen And The Horns 12". Not quite Helen of Troy the glossy Helen McCookerybook, once of Brighton cartoon punkers the Chefs, offers up a jumpy lounge number called Footsteps At My Door. In this locality it is more likely to be the bailiffs than Xavier Cugat marching up the uneven pathway.