WHAT I LOST ON EBAY

This is now officially getting tiresome. I have been after the Das Schnitz single for a few years now and thought it was within my reach last weekend. It had the doctored sleeve, the one where Chaka Khan plays an unwilling participant in their shot at fame, and despite the high postage cost some US dealers feel the need to charge I was poised in the final seconds to apprehend the elusive rascal. The girlfriend was kindly subbing me and she'd told me to go up to 150. The auction being in dollars I took her to mean dollars and bid $154. That bid did not secure me the item and when I told her the bad news she told me she meant £150. I have reached the age where tantrums are unseemly but I did feel like gathering up some toys, squeezing into a pram and throwing them violently around the room.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT&item=270296679662

EYE ON EBAY

Representing the steel city of Sheffield we have the Deaf Aids first release which never fails to fire up strong passions among ebay's punk collectors. Though I have a roomful of piggy banks (one is actually a pig, three are hippos and one is a yellow Malta bus) they had been eviscerated to pay for my annual spending spree at the Olympia record fair. So I merely sat and gawped as this perky little item zoomed past the £200 mark. Isn't someone going to comp this?

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT&item=270296691018