TURNTABLE REVOLUTION TOP 20

1 Poems : I Am A Believer
2 Los Campesinos : The International Tweexcore Underground
3 Their Hearts Were Full Of Spring : A Question Of Trust
4 Wallflowers : Thank You
5 Coral : Jacqueline
6 Screen Gemz : I Don't Like Cars
7 Company She Keeps : What A Girl Wants
8 Ebony Bones : We Know All About You
9 Those Dancing Days : Hitten
10 Rumblefish : Mexico
11 Scarlet Downs : Windows
12 Aston Hall : My Daily Sun
13 Life Studies : Girl On Fire
14 Manhattan Love Suicides : Keep It Coming
15 Sarah Goes Shopping : Summer Blues
16 Indelicates : We Hate The Kids
17 Hardy Boys : Wonderful Lie
18 Irregulars : Against The Grain Of My Life
19 Hit Parade : Autoboigraphy
20 No Flags Etc. : Don't Bring Me Back

The green numbers indicate new entry.

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO GREENFORD

But I did anyway. Since the closing of the charity shop with the giant basement I have been reluctant to trawl through the unwanted detritus of Greenford. It's not a prepossessing place consisting as it does of little more than a tip and a busy crossroads; with the A40 obligingly placed within puking distance for rapid exit. The first charity shop has a vigorous stench, a sort of soaked-through old carpet odour. Poor old Penny McLean, her LP has been brutalized by some clumsy brute and appears quite unplayable. Soon though a BMX Bandits 12" is found and Greenford is pleading with me for redemption. A vast collection of horrific rock records reveal their mucky faces to me in the Cancer Research. I scuttle away. Fara delivers three CD LP's at a bargain £1: Little Ones : Sing Song; a Kill Rock Stars compilation called Mollie's Mix; Pram : Sargasso Sea. The strangest encounter was with 50 or so 78's that appear to have never been kissed by a stylus. They all came from the one shop, long since extinct, somewhere on the Uxbridge Road. The majority of them are all the same song except for Cocktails For Two by, um, I forget. My hapless memeory.

ANNIE AND THE AEROPLANES

Hopefully in the next few weeks I'll be interviewing the singer of this lost band. One infectious pop single and a few cassettes that seem to turn up in Vienna. Obscure but not too obscure to escape the attentions of Turntable Revolution.

The All Time Indie Singles

To qualify for the list below the artists have to be British, the songs have to be on single format, must be on an indie label and failed to reach the top 75. This is a fluid list. My favourites change by the minute. Already I'm wondering why Lovelee Sweet Darlene is not in the top 20. Time span 1980-1999.

TURNTABLE REVOLUTION TOP 70 INDIE RECORDS

1 Orange Juice : Falling And Laughing
2 Field Mice : When Morning Comes To Town
3 Orange Juice : Felicity
4 Smiths : Hand In Glove
5 McCarthy : Keep An Open Mind Or Else
6 Company She Keeps : The Men Responsible
7 Heavenly : Our Love Is Heavenly
8 Desert Wolves : Speak To Me Rochelle
9 Sea Urchins : Pristine Christine
10 Siddeleys : My Favourite Wet Wednesday Afternoon
11 Dentists : Charms And The Girl
12 Popguns : Waiting For The Winter
13 Field Mice : An Earlier Autumn
14 Orange Juice : Blue Boy
15 House Of Love : Destroy The Heart
16 McCarthy : The Well Of Loneliness
17 Beloved : This Means War
18 Heavenly : Hearts And Crosses
19 Talulah Gosh : Bringing Up Baby
20 McCarthy : This Nelson Rockefeller
21 Razorcuts : Big Pink Cake
22 1000 Violins : If I Were A Bullet
23 Sarah Goes Shopping : Summer Blues
24 Heavenly : Atta Girl
25 Marine Girls : On My Mind
26 Shop Assistants : Safety Net
27 Melons : Fast Lane
28 Razorcuts : I Heard You The First Time
29 My Bloody Valentine : Lovelee Sweet Darlene
30 Jeremiahs : Driving Into The Sun
31 Heavenly : So Little Deserve
32 No Flags Etc. : Don't Bring Me Back
33 Dolly Mixture : Remember This
34 Wolfhounds : The Anti-Midas Touch
35 Chairs : Size 10 Girlfriend
36 Train Set : She's Gone
37 Desert Wolves : Love Scattered Lives
38 Trash Can Sinatras : Obscurity Knocks
39 Grow-Up : Joanne
40 Heavenly : P.U.N.K Girl
41 Field Mice : Sensitive
42 County Fathers : You Think It's So Funny
43 Avo-8 : Fame
44 Siddeleys : Are You Still Evil When You're Sleeping?
45 Greenhouse : Mad As Love
46 A Chocolate Morning : If You Want Me
47 Huggy Bear : Her Jazz
48 Siddeleys : Sunshine Thuggery
49 Waltones : She Looks Right Through Me
50 Hardy Boys : Wonderful Lie
51 Aztec Camera : Just Like Gold
52 Orchids : Tiny Words
53 Bob : Convenience
54 Friends : You'll Never See That Summertime Again
55 Jesse Garon & The Desperadoes : You'll Never Be That Young Again
56 Soup Dragons : Pleasantly Surprised
57 Blind Mice : It's Not Heaven
58 Close Lobsters : Firestation Towers
59 Company She Keeps : What A Girl Wants
60 Pale Saints : She Rides The Waves
61 Felt : Primitive Painters
62 Blueboy : Popkiss
63 Popinjays : Monster Mouth
64 Orange Juice : Lovesick
65 Bloody Marys : Stain
66 Harrison : There Is No Refrain
67 Clamheads : Crack On
68 Hit Parade : Autobiography
69 Bodines : Heard It All
70 Wild Indians : Love Of My Life

VANISHING VINYL

My favourite local charity shop is PDSA. It has presented me with several sought after nuggets over the years. So it is hard to relay this story without a tremble in my fingertips. In I went and hastened to the back of the shop where the vinyl ekes out an existence. I am a little confused, it seems the vinyl has wandered elsewhere. I spin wildly around the shop, I investigate nooks, I peep into crannies. In my despair I nearly hurl some absurd videos at the glass display behind the counter where one vinyl LP reclines majestically (I think it's some nonsense by Cliff Richard). I circuit the shop twice, flailing helplessly at skirts and kicking out at shoes. It's gone. All the vinyl has gone. This happened once before and it did come back. I hold this thought close to my heart and somehow don't collapse in a heap outside. There's always tomorrow, or next week, or next month............

TURNTABLE REVOLUTION TOP 20

1 Poems : I Am A Believer
2 Coral : Jacqueline
3 Los Campesinos! : The International Tweexcore Underground
4 Their Hearts Were Full Of Spring : A Question Of Trust
5 Wallflowers : Thank You
6 Ebony Bones : We Know All About You
7 Rumblefish : Mexico
8 Aston Hall : My Daily Sun
9 Screen Gemz : I Don't Like Cars
10 Irregulars : Against The Grain Of My Life
11 Hardy Boys : Wonderful Lie
12 Sarah Goes Shopping : Summer Blues
13 Features : She Makes Me Blue
14 Almost Charlotte : Sleep
15 Rasca Cocous : Vanity
16 No Flags Etc. : Don't Bring Me Back
17 Life Studies : Girl On Fire
18 Boy Friends : Boyfriend
19 Company She Keeps : What A Girl Wants
20 Joy Division : Warsaw

Green numbers indicate new entries.

WHAT I WON EBAY

I became a little disappointed with later releases on Sarah records. My devotion faltered around the Sarah 80 mark. Now I'm making up for my former reticence and attempting to obtain those missing numbers. Autobiography by the Hit Parade appears fairly regularly on ebay but it rarely sells for less than £12. I'm very pleased to win it for £8.50.

WHAT I LOST ON EBAY

I'm a victim of cowardice when it comes to bidding for the Model Mania single on the wonderfully named Boob records. I stall well short of its final sale price £101.

CHELTENHAM RECORD FAIR

The Scavenger rarely roams westward but after studying Record Collector in search of record fairs in new territory he and his scavenging sidekick opted for a root around Cheltenham. The record fair was the main attraction but Cheltenham has an excellent record shop close to the main part of town plus a few charity shops. The fair was mildly diverting. I found a single by Scarlet Downs which was a reasonable £5. One dealer showed me his punk wares and he impressed me with the utter belief he had in his ambitious pricing. They're Back Again, Here They Come by the Cigarettes was a staggering £80. I couldn't imagine the kind of nicotine high I'd have to be on to part with that much for what is admittedly one of the best singles of the punk era. It usually sells for around £50 on ebay. I knew he was unsound when I saw he'd priced Stupid Guy by the Paranoids at £15. I saw it with two other dealers and it never bruised double figures. I left with the one single, sidekick Kathryn left with three CD's: Early Morning Hush compilation; Luke Haines:Off My Rocker At The Art School Bop and Nara Leao:Nara 67. The charity shops yielded nothing for me but Kathryn found an LP featuring the Mike Sammes Singers called Sammes Session.

TURNTABLE REVOLUTION TOP 20

1 Trout : Sunrise Highway
2 Irregulars : Against The Grain Of My Life
3 Rumblefish : Mexico
4 Aston Hall : My Daily Sun
5 Almost Charlotte : Sleep
6 Coral : Jacqueline
7 Hardy Boys : Wonderful Lie
8 Ebony Bones : We Know All About You
9 Poems : I Am A Believer
10 Sarah Goes Shopping : Summer Blues
11 Boy Friends : Boyfriend
12 Rasca Cocous : Vanity
13 Their Hearts Were Full Of Spring : A Question Of Trust
14 No Flags Etc. : Don't Bring Me Back
15 Features : She Makes Me Blue
16 Innocents : One Way Love
17 Joy Division : Warsaw
18 Screen Gemz : I Don't Like Cars
19 Gags : Sex Ist Schau
20 Los Campesinos ! : International Tweexcore Underground

The green numbers indicate new entries.

WHAT I FOUND IN WALTON

Cancer Research always has a sizeable stock of LP's and singles. Rarely anything startling turns up. Finding a Zoomiz single last year was greeted with moderate glee. I had it already but I bought it for launching into the ebay arena. Today I uncover a 12" by the Clay People. It's from 1987, is on Hectic records and mentions a chap called Ray Davis on the dull sleeve. Interest tweaked I part with 75p. This Ray Davis helped mix and produce it. I play it and it ponderously crawls from the speakers. An unobtrusive little morsel, not suitable for the gourmet palate. Wreaths And Seashells is the best track but that title promised so much more. Hectic Babble is neither hectic nor cannon-spat chatter. Mark E. Smith could have worked wonders with a title like that.

HOW DID THAT GET TO NO.1?

SPECIALS : GHOST TOWN

It was 1981. Britain was ablaze. Uprisings were afoot. The country was in the grip of a twisted Cromwellian vortex. Disaffected black youth took to the streets. Certain newspapers declared Enoch Powell a modern prophet and demanded his vindication. Thuggish police bullied communities. This of course didn't happen in East Sheen where I was reaching out from puberty to embrace the sophisticated adult world. I was itching to man the barricades, a Molotov cocktail in one hand and a copy of this single in the other. I remember the video, a car racing through dark streets, the Specials inside, cosying up to one another in a defensive paranoiac huddle. Jerry Dammers and co. zoomed into the zeitgeist and became, for a few weeks in July, the spokesmen for an eruptive generation.
I was working in a record shop in Clapham at the time and I remember this well dressed business woman walking in and asking for Ghost Town. She looked like she spent her evenings musing on the merits of Mahler whilst sipping wine and flicking through old opera programmes. She seemed a little affronted to have to purchase a record that span at a dizzying 45 rpm. Brazenly, in defiance of all her middle class reserve, she declared how remarkable Ghost Town was. I, a lowly scallywag who had recently touched a Dire Straits LP and forgot to wash my hands, nodded in agreement. I like to think that she lived in Brixton and was struck down by a flying bin.
This amazing record, this beautiful lament for a dying Britain, remained atop the chart rubble for a revolutionary three weeks. Why for those three glorious weeks was the British public suddenly struck down with such good taste? Hazardous audacity it may be but I think this is, and always will be, the greatest no.1 ever. World order was restored when MI5 installed Green Door by Shakin' Stevens at no.1 at Ghost Town's expense.

EYE ON EBAY

Stocking Clad Nazi Death Squad Bitches by the Bleach Boys sells for £63.86. I am radiating in a warm wave of smugness as I purchased it last year for £20 from Davids in Letchworth.

SO YOU WANT TO BE A RECORD COLLECTOR

First rule, don't be disheartened. You will walk into a charity shop and spy a mountain of vinyl and pound signs will pirouette before your eyes. Nonchalantly you'll wander over and study the first record. It'll most likely be a James Last LP or Paul Young's No Parlez. If it is a Matt Bianco 12" think yourself blessed. It's not worth anything but it's more encouraging than being confronted by Mrs Mills's chubby cheeks. I once found Matt Bianco singles in at least five charity shops on the same day. They were all different. I had no idea Matt Bianco had been so prolific; I had no idea a record company could be so tolerant.
As you begin to forage there will be gasps of recognition as the musical carnage of the 80's is offered up for your inspection. If you're lucky some lesser lights of the 70's or 90's may appear. If you're really lucky you might find one indie record. It won't be worth anything and you won't want it but it'll be a talking point when you describe the day to your friends. Under the influence of despair you'll even start rummaging through cassettes. Unless you find something by Judith Durham say no to tapes. This is the real life of the scavenger. If you can't cut it, leave it to those who can.

ANOTHER LOCAL SCAVENGE

Braving industrial strength winds I ventured westward to Twickenham. Scene of many a decent find in the past I expected to be buried under an avalanche of C86 rarities. I have always been wary of the Cancer Research after they valued a harmless Abba LP at £20. Maybe some lunatic had run in with a price gun and wreaked unknown havoc before being chased out. Wariness this time was replaced with weariness as I flicked through a wasteland of Dave Edmunds LPs. Luck, I can't hear you knocking. Then right at the back I found a Yeh Yeh Noh Peel Sessions 12". At first I suppressed a full throated yeh, then I uttered an indifferent yeh, then I muttered noh; I already had everything it had to offer. I realized my excitement was simply due to the fact that I'd encountered Pasadenas 12"'s and Marcella Detroit CD singles and so my joy reflex was prone to jolt at any titbit that didn't stink of corporate. Nothing and five other charity shops were just as parsimonious. But the Trinity Hospice never lets me down. In there some years back I fell upon an LP by Adam Best called Wall Of Sound and more recently Dogs by the Who. This time I liberated the rather more prosaic Wannadies vinyl LP Be A Girl. All in a wet day's work.

WHAT I LOST ON EBAY

A rather half-hearted attempt to procure the Originals 7" on Rutland records sees me shunted into second place by him again, Gothic Darkwave. I just wasn't prepared to pay more than £8.19 so I paid the price, or rather Gothic Darkwave did. With a tag like that shouldn't he be chasing death metal groups?

My New imeem Page

The Distaff Wham!

The prototype Reynolds Girls dressed in jackets provided by House Of Arthur Daley fashions. Their other single Marvellous Guy is bright and breezy pop which sounds like classic Wham. Both singles are on Innervision, Wham's label. In fact if you listen hard enough you can hear George Michael blow drying his hair during the middle eight. This song is only slightly inferior, a sort of Tina Charles/Sheena Easton confection. The girl in the top of the picture has a nasty dark stain spreading through her hair which probably accounts for her moody demeanour. The other girl has a hint of a smile because she has not quit her job at Smiths for pop fame though she'll have to remember to put that brooch back in Jackie magazine.

The International Tweexcore Underground

pop on film

HOW DID THAT GET TO NO.1?

In the official UK chart ( that's the one where the Buzzcocks don't have half a dozen no.1's, i.e. not mine ) there have been some strange no.1's. A surfeit of appalling chart toppers definitely and even a few very good ones but here are some that were just too good to push their way through the chaff to the vertiginous peak that is the top spot, and yet they did, somehow.

ROLLING STONES : LITTLE RED ROOSTER

Inexplicably a no.1. How did this bluesy number beguile the British public, most of whom would never have heard of Muddy Waters or Son House. Jagger takes the name Partially Sighted Yelping Hyena and the lily white kids of suburbia can't control an urge to get down and mucky, if not in the farmyard at least in their own back gardens. Nowadays when R & B stands for raunch and boobs this sounds like an authentic slice of Mississippi blues with a rhythm as drowsy as a lazy dog but with a mean snarl if provoked. My theory is that its resting on the chart summit was due to perfect timing. A year earlier, 1963, the charts were in the grip of the frivolous uptempo sounds of Merseybeat; in 1965 the music scene went meaty and beaty. But in December 1964 there was a void that Cilla Black and Herman's Hermits were too insubstantial to fill. The signs were there in July when the Animals took House Of The Rising Sun to the top. It was lewd and spotty but that swirling organ softened its seediness and was pleasing to the ear. Little Red Rooster had a threatening indeterminate filth that seemed to sully the listener. No surprise then that it was no.1 for only a week, knocked off the top my those pretty boys in suits, the Beatles.

TURNTABLE REVOLUTION TOP 20

I have been doing my own chart for over 30 years. Singles only. I did attempt an LP chart but lost interest in it. What features in the chart could be old, could be new, it's subject to my whim. It's a top 40 but I'm posting the top 20. The current no.1 has been there now for four weeks and is forty years old.

1 Trout : Sunrise Highway
2 Irregulars : Against The Grain Of My Life
3 Hardy Boys : Wonderful Lie
4 Rumblefish : Mexico
5 Gags : Sex Ist Schau
6 Almost Charlotte : Sleep
7 Sarah Goes Shopping : Summer Blues
8 Boy Friends : Boyfriend
9 No Flags Etc. : Don't Bring Me Back
10 Joy Division : Warsaw
11 Aston Hall : My Daily Sun
12 Ebony Bones : We Know All About You
13 Bobby Scarlet : Mosquito
14 Rasca Cocous : Vanity
15 Counting House : Pack Your Bags
16 Liberty Thieves : I Regret Nothing
17 Classics : Audio Audio
18 Innocents : One Way Love
19 Such Perfect Liars : Innocent And Pure
20 Greenhouse : Mad As Love

IN THE LOCAL OXFAM

The sun was out so I could not restrain myself. Off I went to the local Oxfam. So often a source of unexpected vinyl like the Peppermint Rainbow LP that ambushed me some years back. Today though it's all about that modern horror, the CD. Smirking to myself as I inspect the half a dozen unruffled Fish CD's I wonder when the good volunteers of Oxfam will finally consign the Marillion man's artistic disasterpiece to the bin; or donate it to the road builders of China. Meanwhile the staff were agonizing over what to play and it seemed got lodged in a time warp as they treated customers to Elvis singing xmas songs. Isn't it enough that we have to suffer festive musical mucus the second Halloween costumes are hung up? They came to their senses and put on Heartbreak Hotel which got stuck on repeat and finally after Elvis had booked into Heartbreak Hotel four times they put him, and me, out of our misery. My CD finds were: Liliput double CD; Youth Group : Casino Twilight Dogs; Voxtrot :s/t; The Bird And The Bee : s/t; B.C. Camplight : Blink Of A Nihilist.

EYE ON EBAY

Stolen before I even had a chance to bid, a single by Clamber. On my list of wants for over a year and Gothic Darkwave offers to pay £40 to the seller and he bites. Gothic Darkwave is a scoundrel and a nuisance; he outbid me on a Dancette 7" last year. I'm watching you Mr. Darkwave.

TOP THIRTY CHARITY SHOP FINDS

5 My Bloody Valentine : Strawberry Wine

Fara, Twickenham. I feel I've deprived a Romanian of a month's wages. I've just been flicking through an unkempt pile of 12"'s and I've uncovered this. I stare at it and then check to see if it's on the Lazy label. It is. Flutter this in front of a flush MBV fanatic and they could be persuaded to part with £50. Next to me a fellow scavenger is examining a Lou Reed LP with unrestrained glee. I contaminate his happiness by informing him of my amazing find. I can see the eighties, in collecting terms, have yet to happen him. Suddenly a Shop Assistants LP is in my grubby paws. Oooh, I'll have that too. Other records appear which I gather up in my loving arms, a Sinister Cleaners 12" and a couple of compilations. Mr. 70's man is entangled with unremarkable Reed and Hendrix LP's while I carry my booty over to the till. "How much are these?" "Oh, we're trying to shift those quickly. 25p each will do." Somewhere in a Romanian backwater a man is selling a kidney and I feel responsible.

EYE ON EBAY

Radio Active single from 1979 fetches a hefty £139. It's pressed on the BBC owned label Beeb.
Tin Openers Set Me Free single on Logo sells for a breathtaking £325. Rumours are it's a lost classic; that's a lot of money to throw at a rumour.
Deadly Toys single, no picture cover but that's near impossible to find, stalls at £79.28. I stalled at £54.

WHAT I LOST ON EBAY

The Jakobians slipped away for a grand £62. The seller let bidders hear a snippet. I think I can get over letting it go, even to my old rival Picheux.
Zoot Alors zooms out of reach for a mere £57. I'm sure this item broke the £100 mark in the past. My limit was £26.

Brussels Binge

Go to Belgium? To find records. What insanity is this. Well I sent the lovely girlfriend there on an unofficial scouting trip last year and she came back bearing chocolates and informing me that beer stocks were holding up well. In passing she also mentioned a record shop she thought I might enjoy scavenging in. So this weekend we hopped on to the Eurostar and headed for Brussels. The fun game we all know and love is, how many famous Belgians can you name? To which I reply, how many famous Swiss can you name? But I digress. We were greeted with the exact replica skies we left in London, grey and drizzly. And it remained that way. The first shop was swollen with vinyl and had a good array of 60's and 70's LP's plus an extensive selection of 7"'s. The latter yielded very little except a Sylvie Vartan EP dressed in a striking cover from which one may assume that French women had a nits problem. Also found a Fehlfarben LP, a CD of girl group sounds of the early 60's called The Girls Of Hideaway Heaven and a Luv LP for the queenly sum of 1 euro.
The next shop presented us with an Eggplant LP and a Samantha Jones LP My Way which does include that My Way, a song best left to die a lonely death in working men's clubs. We also rooted through a graveyard of gormless 80's pop stars captured for eternity on 7". There were thousands of them among which was Nottingham Forest's deluded boast "We've Got The Whole World In Our Hands". Maybe not lads but at least you extended a finger or two to Brussels. What we did buy was Luv: You're The Greatest Lover; Baccara : Parlez Vous Francais; Middle Of The Road : Bottoms Up ; La Bionda : One For You, One For Me and Dolly Dots : Leila (The Queen Of Sheba). I have to emphasize that they only cost 10 cents each.
Shop three was called Juke Box and it was not offering any bargains except for Odessey And Oracle by the Chrysanthemums; yes it is the Zombies LP lovingly recreated by Alan Jenkins and his crazy cohorts. A mere 15 euros. Take my money.
We were done then and repaired to a pub to quaff beer and guzzle a vast plate of cheese which helped reinforce the dams in our arteries.
The next day we were thwarted in our attempt to visit the Brel museum, it was closed, and almost failed to locate the chocolate museum. Fortunately we did discover another record shop where we purchased the db's : Living A Lie; Pink Noise : Move For You and Lizzy Mercier Descloux : Suspense. Also rummaged around a flea market and discovered two Jacques Dutronc singles.

The Company She Keeps - What A Girl Wants